By Anupam Malhotra
Have you ever thought why your child does not open up with you? Why your closest friends hide their feelings from you? Why the little sudden rain shower or sunshine makes you frown?
The answer lies in our long awaited introspection. We have been evading it but to no use. The word acceptance is not just a word. But what lies in it is a whole new world, an entirely virgin way of living. What lies in it, is actually a new personality of you and me. And look, we have always been underestimating its power.
This acceptance can actually transform our relationships with everyone and with everything.
All our lives, we try to change people and the conditions, thinking it would make our life happier. But, when it does not, which happens most of the time, because happiness is not situational but a matter of choice, then it angers us.
Yes, acceptance can transform your relationship with your children.
Have you ever wondered since when has your kid started not to disclose his secrets or his day to day life events with you? Well, the answer is clear. It has been happening since you started to not accept him for his faults, instead pointed them out like he is a criminal and started blaming him or imposing the righteous path on him. “You are wrong there. Correct it.” But that is not the path of acceptance. When your child comes home excited of a new adventure he experienced, be it as bad as smoking or telling a lie, we blamed him or his friends and got annoyed at him and punished him. That completely ruined our relation with our kid. What better way could we deal it? We could have lent him or her an ear, listened to him completely and accepted him the way he is, with all the faults. Then tell him, why what he did was wrong? What results could it fetch? Give him examples of people who went on that path, and what they got in results. Let us not tell our kid what he did is wrong. It is not just a kid, but even adults like us cannot bear being called wrong. Instead let us tell our kid, what can be the outcome of what he did. Say, “Ok, this happened. We are humans. We do mistakes. ” now tell him, what will happen if he continues to do it. Smile at him. Tell him softly, calmly and politely.
He is the flower of your garden. Give him love. No matter what, he does not deserve your anger. And soon, you will see how he reciprocates your love. How your little kind words impact his delicate and innocent mind. It does miracles.
Accepting the situations the way they are, when you know you cannot change them and the world does not work the way we want, can actually release your mind of unnecessary torture. And so for everyone else, and on top of that for your own peace of mind, let us embrace and develop the power of acceptance. Because everyone is beautiful, everyone is trying hard, let us appreciate and accept them, like we accept ourselves with our good and bad qualities.
Very beautifully written.
You said it true. Often we shun kids shouting about what they did wrong, and this frightens those little, innocent but full with love hearts….and so, they close down…
You showed beautiful examples, how we could bring them around to right way of living but with Love..
It was nice reading the article above..You have showed a loving wayto handle the kids in today’s generation..Instead of screming or making your child guilty one should make him see the practical example..Very well said we keep on teasing our kid with one matter..he or she will not get it exactly instead of will make them see in reality…