By Diya S. Mana
I was surfing through a friend’s Facebook profile today. The pictures that I was watching reminded me of a picture from the past. Year 2009. It was of another friend’s fiancé. That friend of mine is a fairly handsome, tall boy. At that time he was 26.
One day he told me that he’s getting engaged and invited me to his engagement. It was a big surprise for me. It’s not that I had any romantic inclinations towards him or anything. It’s just that apparently, he was a flirt and I didn’t expect him to think about marriage that soon. For a good looking, wealthy, intelligent and progressive boy thinking about marriage at 26 is considered early by most contemporary youngsters and I was also one of those.
The moment he had declared his engagement, expectations started creeping in my mind. Expectations about the looks of his fiancé. I was pretty sure that she would be a beautiful, fair and tall girl. But when I saw her I found her to be an average looking, short girl. Her complexion had a darker tone of whitish complexion. If my friend’s engagement was a surprise, her fiancé’s appearance was a shock. His family was in an even deeper state of shock. It still is.
I thought no wonder he had never shown us her photograph or told us about her. But marriages are not as much about age, looks, income and property as they are about having a compatible, like-minded partner. You always feel best in the company of such a person.
I couldn’t feel this until I myself got married. My marriage was an arranged marriage. I chose it to be like that for myself. I wanted the guy to be good looking, well-settled, owning properties, the only child of his parents and what not. I did this to make my marriage infallible. I thought since I am going for an arranged marriage I have the scope of choosing the best for me. And I did choose.
But what I realise after 6 years of my friend’s wedding and 5 years of mine that marriage, which now-a-days has become a butt of a joke, is actually a very beautiful thing. You get a partner for life in everything you do. The beauty of marriage doesn’t lie in the faces of individuals; it lies in the depth of your compatibility with your partner. The strength of a marriage cannot be predetermined by choosing the perfect partner, it lies in getting a partner that takes away from you the burden of perfection.
A thing of beauty is joy forever but if you have joy forever, it shows your beautiful angle towards things. Charm of your partner may make your wedding album ornate and your rivals envy. But marriages are not about fancy wedding albums or jealous neighbours, right? It’s such a relationship that unless you love, trust, admire, understand, like and respect a person, all at the same time, you can never know its true meaning.
It’s not that I am not happy in my marriage or I got any lesser loving partner but the fragrance and freshness that I feel in my friend’s married life seem to be missing in mine.